George Rolls Confirms, “I’ve more than one Banana”
In a statement set to send shockwaves through the non-league footballing fraternity, George Rolls, erstwhile overlord destructor in chief of Jurassic coast non-league football clubs and self confessed lover of horse legs; called a hastily arrange news conference and declared to the shocked throng of reporters, “I’ve more than one banana”.
The announcement comes hot on the heels of recent bad news and is sure to send supporters into panic as to what exactly is going on behind closed doors at Nene Park. Members of the assembled media were left dumb-struck, with some calling into question the current state of mind of Kettrin Towns acting chairman. “I was phoned at 5 o’clock this morning and told to get down to the Jubilee Centre immediately”, said Gordon Butterly, reporter with the Sun, “you can only imagine the stunned silence!” He went on “I wouldn’t mind, but the fat twat couldn’t even show us the Banana’s in question.”
Following the news conference George Rolls was hastily bundled out of the room by his right hand woman Helen Thompson who when pressed for a statement looked visibly shocked and with some onlookers suggesting she appeared to be breathing heavily and smelling like a rotten wolf.
Rumours look set to continue with the current whereabouts of Mr Rolls still unknown and some media outlets making unconfirmed reports of his catching a plane to Ecuador. The stories look set to continue amid widespread turmoil and flatulent times at Kettrin Town.
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