O/T George Rolls ingests own arm.
Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 8:49 am
George Rolls ingests own arm.
George Rolls, acting chairman of perennial relegation specialists and invoice avoiding delusionists Kettrin Town, was admitted to hospital last night after reportedly swallowing his own arm. The exact details remain unclear at this time, but it is being widely rumoured that having been unable to resist odds of 20-1 against being able to perform the feat of internal oesophagus wankery his arm became lodged elbow deep inside his disproportionately fat neck.
A spokesman for the Poppies spoke to press this morning only to confirm that Mr Rolls had admitted himself to A&E in the early hours of Wednesday morning having covered the short distance from the Jubilee centre to nearby Kettrin General on foot. Alarmed eyewitnesses made frantic calls to the police worried that a part-man/part-elephant in obvious distress was making “flatulent noises as it passed The Dolben”.
Local resident Ken Scrote alleged “I was awoken around 2.30 in the morning to the sound of what I thought was a French farmer making foie gras, which was unusual in itself given that I live in Finedon and the market for these products in East Northants is minimal at best”.
George Rolls, acting chairman of perennial relegation specialists and invoice avoiding delusionists Kettrin Town, was admitted to hospital last night after reportedly swallowing his own arm. The exact details remain unclear at this time, but it is being widely rumoured that having been unable to resist odds of 20-1 against being able to perform the feat of internal oesophagus wankery his arm became lodged elbow deep inside his disproportionately fat neck.
A spokesman for the Poppies spoke to press this morning only to confirm that Mr Rolls had admitted himself to A&E in the early hours of Wednesday morning having covered the short distance from the Jubilee centre to nearby Kettrin General on foot. Alarmed eyewitnesses made frantic calls to the police worried that a part-man/part-elephant in obvious distress was making “flatulent noises as it passed The Dolben”.
Local resident Ken Scrote alleged “I was awoken around 2.30 in the morning to the sound of what I thought was a French farmer making foie gras, which was unusual in itself given that I live in Finedon and the market for these products in East Northants is minimal at best”.
