The European Commission recently announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations the Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement, and has accepted a 5 year plan that would be known as "Euro English".
In the first year "S" will replace the soft "C". Sertainly this will make the sivil servants happy. The hard "C" will be dropped in favour of the "K". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 letter less.
In the sekond year there will be growing publik enthusiasm when the troublesome "PH" will be replased by "F". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Governments wil enkourage the removal of double leters, whish have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "E"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they should go away.
By th fourth year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps sush as replasing "TH" with "Z" and "W" with "V".
During ze fifz year ze unesesery "O" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "OU" and similar shanges vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After ze fifz year ve vil hav a reli sesibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
Euro English
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Three of Diamonds
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CountHermanDeBanker
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Re: Euro English
Surely this should be in the jokes section?
On second thoughts............. :roll: ;) :lol:
On second thoughts............. :roll: ;) :lol:
“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.” ― Groucho Marx
Re: Euro English
English is a funny language though.
Fish could theoretically be written Ghoti
This is the rationale.
The “F” sound comes from the “GH” sound in “enough.”
The “o” sound is from the word “women” – where the “o” changes to
a short “i” sound.
So we have “F-i-” and finally the “ti” sound in the word “action”,
that gives us the “sh” sound at the end of the word, “fish.”
The only other languages I speak are French and a tiny bit of Spanish, but it seems that English is unusual in the number of ways different letter combinations are pronounced.
I started trying to learn German, not for me though, feels to angular and spikey for my liking.
Fish could theoretically be written Ghoti
This is the rationale.
The “F” sound comes from the “GH” sound in “enough.”
The “o” sound is from the word “women” – where the “o” changes to
a short “i” sound.
So we have “F-i-” and finally the “ti” sound in the word “action”,
that gives us the “sh” sound at the end of the word, “fish.”
The only other languages I speak are French and a tiny bit of Spanish, but it seems that English is unusual in the number of ways different letter combinations are pronounced.
I started trying to learn German, not for me though, feels to angular and spikey for my liking.
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TheIncognitoKid
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Re: Euro English
You are absolutely right !!! 
Got back from skiing last week, and been lazing around recuperating ever since. Really heavy cold and very sore legs. Thankfully all that held off until we got back to Paris so didnt spoil the holiday.
So was particularly dissapointed to have no Diamonds game to listen to this afternoon.
Cold seems to be clearing up now though, and legs are mainly just a wee bit stiff.
Got back from skiing last week, and been lazing around recuperating ever since. Really heavy cold and very sore legs. Thankfully all that held off until we got back to Paris so didnt spoil the holiday.
So was particularly dissapointed to have no Diamonds game to listen to this afternoon.
Cold seems to be clearing up now though, and legs are mainly just a wee bit stiff.