Imran Ladak expects all bills to be paid.

[ChorltonV]

Imran Ladak expects all bills to be paid.

Imraan Ladak has sought to assure the Southern League and FA officials that all outstanding debts will be paid and that the future for Kettrin Town Football Club is bright.

“I’ve signed a non-disclosure agreement with upwards of fifty interested parties many of whom are hacking off limbs to be part of the greatest 140-year trophy no-show in English footballing history.”

He continued, “From the moment I set eyes on Nene Park and that ****ing great chandelier and gold banister I knew that the marriage of the Poppies with this wonderful facility would be a match made in heaven”. “This is now being born out with unprecedented interest being shown from countless Far Eastern consortia many of whom I’ve personally shown around our incredible facilities”.

Indeed the Evening Telegraph can confirm that a couple of chinamen wearing miners lamps were seen poking round Nene Park in the dark yesterday afternoon, although we have been unable to confirm reports that this was in fact the former owners of the Shaolin takeaway seeking to retrieve a missing wok.

Never-the-less the news of so many potential buyers coupled with the news that DRC Locums have signed an agreement to extend sponsorship of the club well into the next millennia can only be good news. “Yes”, agreed Imraan, “after gate-crashing a recording of Dragons Den I was able to convince James Caan, that Kettrin Town was worthy of such a tie-up. And what better commercial opportunity could there be for a medical recruitment consultancy.” Indeed.

In other unrelated news Ladak confirmed that next week he fully expects to be ‘getting off’ with Tulisa from the X-Factor, “she’s a cracking bird”, enthused Ladak.

[Rushdenjim]

I believe it until you put Evening Telegraph ;) ;) ;) - That doesn't exist anymore

[Diamondsiy]

Indeed the Evening Telegraph can confirm that a couple of chinamen wearing miners lamps were seen poking round Nene Park in the dark yesterday afternoon, although we have been unable to confirm reports that this was in fact the former owners of the Shaolin takeaway seeking to retrieve a missing wok.

:lol: brilliant