Let me see if I've got this right...

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woody
Posts: 694
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 6:59 pm

Let me see if I've got this right...

Post by woody »

Let me see if I've got this right...



IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOUR.



IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.


IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT

IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.


IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE OR RUSSIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.


IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.


IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.


IF YOU CROSS THE BRITISH BORDER ILLEGALLY; YOU GET A JOB, A DRIVERS LICENCE, NATIONAL INSURANCE CARD, MONEY FROM SOCIAL SECURITY, FOOD STAMPS, CREDIT CARDS, SUBSIDISED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE EDUCATION AND FREE HEALTH CARE.
'If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?
Billy Connolly
Red Diamond
Posts: 399
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:35 pm

Re: Let me see if I've got this right...

Post by Red Diamond »

You couldn't make it up if you tried Woody!!!!
Oundle Diamond #2
Posts: 1611
Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 3:50 pm
Location: London

Re: Let me see if I've got this right...

Post by Oundle Diamond #2 »

Yes? What's your point? We live in a society free from all these dreadful things?
DiamondsFan
Posts: 665
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 6:20 pm

Re: Let me see if I've got this right...

Post by DiamondsFan »

Oundle Diamond #2 wrote:Yes? What's your point? We live in a society free from all these dreadful things?
I'd prefer illegal immigrants were locked up. If you want to come into our country but can't abide by our immigration laws, you can sit behind bars.
Mad Dog
Posts: 2067
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 11:05 pm
Location: Rushden
Has Liked: 2 times
Been Liked: 5 times

Re: Let me see if I've got this right...

Post by Mad Dog »

The countries listed have appalling or questionable human rights records. On whole the UK is far better than them.
IF YOU CROSS THE BRITISH BORDER ILLEGALLY; YOU GET A JOB, A DRIVERS LICENCE, NATIONAL INSURANCE CARD, MONEY FROM SOCIAL SECURITY, FOOD STAMPS, CREDIT CARDS, SUBSIDISED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE EDUCATION AND FREE HEALTH CARE.
I'd like to know what this lot did wrong to not qualify for the above, if what you suggest is guarenteed:

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/worl ... 292497.cms
coltrane
Posts: 428
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:23 pm

Re: Let me see if I've got this right...

Post by coltrane »

Give him his due he's one of the very few who are trying to see the regime in Iran and North Korea e.t.c. in a favourable light even if it is in the context of a very old joke. :lol:
mattreddan
Posts: 955
Joined: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:59 am

Re: Let me see if I've got this right...

Post by mattreddan »

Make sure you take a sat nav or a bloody map if you're going on a journey then :)
coltrane
Posts: 428
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:23 pm

Re: Let me see if I've got this right...

Post by coltrane »

"A bloody map", freudian slip perhaps? :lol:
rudolph_hucker
Posts: 1750
Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2009 6:22 pm

Re: Let me see if I've got this right...

Post by rudolph_hucker »

woody wrote:Let me see if I've got this right...



IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOUR.



IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.


IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT

IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.


IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE OR RUSSIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.


IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.


IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.


IF YOU CROSS THE BRITISH BORDER ILLEGALLY; YOU GET A JOB, A DRIVERS LICENCE, NATIONAL INSURANCE CARD, MONEY FROM SOCIAL SECURITY, FOOD STAMPS, CREDIT CARDS, SUBSIDISED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE EDUCATION AND FREE HEALTH CARE.

I saw this as a few peoples facebook status.
You're knocked out with who I am,
Look at you now, you're all in my hands.
woody
Posts: 694
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 6:59 pm

Re: Let me see if I've got this right...

Post by woody »

Oundle Diamond #2 wrote:Yes? What's your point? We live in a society free from all these dreadful things?
I you don't know, then who am I to try to explain it to you!
'If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?
Billy Connolly
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